Bare Shoulders + Sun = Love

Perhaps 30 is a little old to be discovering this, but as an eternally "plump" girl, I am not a fan of showing off my shoulders. It's not that I'm embarrassed by them exactly, but I'm rather horrified by my "hi-bye" upper arms. If you don't know what those are, they are the arm equivalent of a muffin top (and if you are unaware of a muffin top as a fashion faux pas instead of a tasty breakfast treat, well... good for you). The hi-bye arm is when you are waving one way and your arm flab is waving another. Yeah, I told you it's not pretty.

In a summer of record-breaking heat, this phobia of exposed skin can be a truly hindering and sweaty experience. But I dealt with it, chalking up another year of not having to get into a bathing suit or wearing short shorts and tank tops as a success. But then I went outside for a second in my tank top pj's.

Whoa. I literally stopped in my tracks --and my tracks were heading to the garage fridge for a desperately needed caffeine fix, so I was slightly alarmed by the reaction. The warmth hit me immediately, sending tingling sensations to an area so close to my head and heart but so often neglected (not that those areas couldn't use a little more warmth and sunshine, but that's a different story).

It reminded me of when I first went to see a massage therapist after a serious car accident. My back was all spasms and soreness so I thought that was the only area of pain. Boy was I wrong. Once she began working on my arms and shoulders a flood of built up tension started to release. Even my fingertips held onto the angst of my injured body. "You have an extremely high tolerance for pain" she exclaimed as she felt the knots within start to untangle.

I began to wonder if this was a good thing. Should pain really be something to tolerate? I couldn't remember a time when something wasn't injured; whether physically or mentally. Now areas that were "tolerable" of being mistreated and abused by me throughout the years felt like they never had before. It is amazing how much better you can feel when you are unaware of feeling anything else.

So that leads me back to my sun bathing in the backyard. I had no idea just how much my body missed spending a little bit of time in the sun rather than rushing past it to get inside to dimness and air conditioning. I don't know which is stronger in the great debate of nature vs. nurture in the grand scheme of things, but this morning I found a little bit of nature very nurturing.

Not to say I will now throw caution to the wind and wear things that expose my wobbly bits and frighten adults and small children alike. This small joy will have to be repeated a little more often; just as long as the dog and bees and flowers are my only companions.

August and Everything After

So here it is again, the month of my birth. I've always loved that my birthday comes in August, when there isn't really any other holiday around, and yet, it sort of feels like the beginning of a new year. It is usually the start of a new school year, though this is my first year I won't be taking any classes in 6 years.

I've always understood why the Jewish New Year is in September much more than the calendar year of January. Who wants to start something new when everything is dead, the air is cold, and the humdrum after the holidays begins to set in?

I finally got my hair cut and colored today. I haven't had my hair professionally colored in sooo long. And the last time I paid more than $12 for a haircut; well let's just say that it's been a long time too. I don't know why it is always a trauma for me to get my haircut, even when I know I desperately need it. Maybe it has something to do with being a Leo, the mane is a precious thing. Or maybe my anti-Leo tendencies get the best of me and I don't want someone to have to spend a lot of extra time and focus on me. If you knew my hair, you'd know why I feel bad for the stylists. It is thick thick thick and has a mind of it's own. The hairdresser today said it reminded her of the cartoon character in Monsters Inc. with snakes as her hair. Everytime she tried to get it to do something it didn't want to do, it let her know. Sounds silly, but believe me, my hair has a mind of it's own.

But after 3 hours at the salon, my head feels 10 pounds lighter and looks 100 times better. What is it about a good hair day that makes you feel so good? I was looking forward to going out tonight for my birthday before, but now I feel a little bit sassier, there is a spring in my step and I'm ready to kiss my twenties goodbye!

Before:

After!