What have I done? Nothing out of my ordinary procrastinating world. I have been jobless for months and still was rushing to get my presents ready for Christmas. Truth be told, I still have some presents to make. Yes, not wrap or throw into a bag, but make. I always say "next year will be different!" But it never is. Maybe if I keep these song lyrics in mind, it might make me more ambitious to have an answer next Christmas. Maybe.
This year will be a first -- presents and family on Christmas Eve instead of Christmas. Everyone was somehow concerned about me handling this. As if I was really upset by the date on the calendar. Really my only concern was getting presents finished on time. Christmas was Christmas, regardless of whether it was filled with packages and bows. Hey if the Grinch can learn that lesson, how hard is it for me to as well?
And I did get to enjoy two of my favorite things on Christmas: going to the movies and sesame chicken. And having Chinese for Christmas dinner was very theatrical a la A Christmas Story, though I'm glad my dinner was not smiling at me.
Christmas was different in another way as well, in that my mind was elsewhere most of the time. My best friend Amy, a steady fixture for 20 of my 30 years, had a nephew born on the 23rd with serious issues, the biggest being that he didn't breathe for the first 13 minutes of his life. While I've had plenty of tragedies in Christmases past -- I've lost two grandparents and an uncle at this particular holiday -- I've never had one like this, where someone just beginning their life may be leaving it soon.
Suddenly the search for the perfect gift seems like the frivolity it is. Thinking of the celebration of a baby born so many years ago while praying for one born days ago brings up all sorts of emotions and thoughts that I haven't had time to fully process yet. All I know is that gratitude and hope seem to be the biggest gifts to give and receive this year, and I feel very lucky to have both.
