Graduation Day

Today marks the 15th anniversary of the day I graduated high school. Normally on this day I am off doing something fun - I made it a sort of rule to always try to be someplace better than I was on that day. Or maybe I should say, to feel like I was once again ending one chapter and heading off into the great (and hopefully more exciting) future.

In years past I've been in Ireland, Italy, on a solo road trip through several states - usually this day has been full of travel to places I've never been or seen, someplace to get that fear and excitement back. Because wasn't it exciting to graduate high school? To finally be finished with what had seemed to be an endless sea of classes? But it was also terrifying; heading off into a complete unknown, away from the familiarity of school and friends and a world where weekend plans were the most important thing.

River of grass in Wyoming

As I knew this day was coming, I kept trying to think of something to do this year, some way to make it memorable. That is, if the "rapture" didn't occur first (don't you just hate it when math equations don't work?) ; )

I knew I would have to work - real life is now, well, real. Weekend plans are no longer the only things I have to think about, and sadly, usually are more about running errands and doing unpleasant things I've been putting off more than having fun with friends. Still, I thought maybe a new hairstyle or small excursion somewhere would mark the occasion. Maybe do something a little daring. But I didn't. I worked. I came home. I did this. Nothing too remarkable or momentous.

Maybe I no longer need to go someplace to get that thrill of uncertainty. Life 15 years after heading into the unknown certainly has not gone the way I expected. I would never place myself where I am - not that it is necessarily a horrible place to be, just... not as far as I was hoping to go. I may have always had dreams as big as some fellow Arvadans...

The Fray opening for U2 at Invesco Field 5-21-11

But I'm starting to realize how big dreams need big ambition - something I've been lacking a lot of for, well, as long as I can remember. I've had bouts of it come along over the years, and those are the times when I can actually note something that happened during a particular year, otherwise the years start to blur. So hard work, ambition, and passion. These are my new adventures I aim to head for this year. I don't want another 15 years to pass as quickly and as uneventfully as these last 15. I still might not end up where I thought I'd be, but maybe, just maybe, I can end up someplace even better.

Mayday, May Day

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant: if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.
-- Anne Bradstreet, 'Meditations Divine and Moral,' 1655


As months often do, the past few have seemed to flown by without a moment to pause and reflect on all that has occurred. The stirrings of change have been coursing through my veins, despite the overall appearance of life as usual. I thought today would be a perfect day to change this, with it being May Day, or Beltane in my ancient Celtic roots, a time for rebirth, a fresh start to life, to have a clean slate.

May is the time of fertility and new beginnings after a long winter. The Faeries are afoot! They dance in the hills and roll in the grass, reveling in the joy of warm May breezes. Our spirits are high with the lust and heartiness of spring. New life is stirring and appetites are keen. -Laurie Cabot, Celebrate the Earth

But I'm somehow still feeling a little slow, a little hesitant to put anything down. And when I finally decided to stop procrastinating and start living, something monumental happened.

So now my stories of being in sight of the Oscar stage firsthand 12 hours after the Academy Awards took place, and being within spitting distance of Kevin Smith, and my very lame attempt at Script Frenzy, just seem, well miniscule. And while they actually were big events in my small world, they can not take precedence over something like this in the big world.

So my life musings will have to wait. The days may be getting longer but hopefully the time between writings will be shorter from here on out.