My Obsession with Speech, Baby, Bump.

I spend a lot of time rambling through YouTube these days.  It is one of those sites that you can witness the whole spectrum of the world wide web that not only did you not know even existed, but that is extremely popular in a way that seemed unfathomable not that long ago.  I mean, did you ever think you could spend an entire evening watching hilarious cat videos? Gives a whole new meaning to "crazy cat lady" - now you don't even have your own, you can be a super secret cat fanatic of virtual felines. Scary thought.

Anyhoo...I never really knew about vloggers, or video bloggers, before stumbling across a hilarious review of something on YouTube, which made me curious about that person's other videos, which then led me to watch videos from their friends, and before I knew it, there was an entirely new time sucker-upper which I certainly do not need, but enjoy nonetheless. One of my favorite vloggers is Carrie Hope Fletcher (https://www.youtube.com/user/ItsWayPastMyBedTime) , a seemingly sweet "unknown" who liked to talk about her love of books and cakes, at least that is what I thought when I began binge watching her videos.  Part of the YouTube experience is that the sidebar has these handy "recommended" videos for you. After watching one of Carrie's videos, I noticed one of these recommendations was a video called "My Wedding Speech" in which the groom sang a delightful song to his wedding party and left me in complete awe.  Little did I know that the groom was Tom Fletcher, Carrie's big brother, and a member of a popular band from England.
It's such a strange thing to realize the smallness of the world sometimes. I went from having no idea who any of these people were, to finding delight in being able to witness their joyful life celebrations.  Now maybe this is a really long post just to say that I find this couple completely adorable, but I've been meaning to share it with others for a while now. Because that is the true joy of this small interconnected world in which we live; finding a bit of your own happiness by sharing in the happiness of others. Isn't it? And if my own recommendation doesn't cut it for you, maybe you'll listen to someone I never thought I'd have a lot in common with and yet, he manages to sum up my feelings for the Fletcher family pretty perfectly.     

Real vs Reel

...sometimes you have something you need to say but you can't, because the words won't come out or you get scared or you feel stupid. So, if you could write a song and sing it, then you could say what you need to say and it would be beautiful and people would listen and you wouldn't make a complete idiot out of yourself. But all of us can't be songwriters, so some of us will never be able to say what we're thinking or what we want other people to know we're thinking, so we'll never be able to get the chance to make things right again...

Rory Gilmore

It's funny, I always think of Gilmore Girls on June 3rd. That is because it was supposed to be the wedding day of "Luke" and "Lorelai" but it was postponed indefinitely. My life tends to go that way, always a mixture of what I've seen or read and what is reality. I've been thinking about that a lot lately. Partly because I now have a roommate that is not a big fan of TV or film, something I find about as mind boggling as he does when I schedule my life around being able to watch something. I don't see his life as necessarily more fulfilling, but maybe it's a little more real.

I also have been thinking about what can be considered reality lately. Sometimes life seems as real as a reality show on TV -- the cameras may not be around, but people are certainly playing a part. I've recently been sharing stories of heartaches, both mine and others, and how when one person is not telling the truth, when they are hiding something substantial from the other, that it feels like the whole relationship was a lie. The feelings that you have for the other person are suddenly cheapened, no matter how real they were, they suddenly feel like a mistake.

Then again, most of the time when this is going on, there is a little part of us inside that knows things are not right; and we usually ignore it until it is too late. I know in my past relationships that is certainly the case.

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this -- I have so much to say but hardly know how to say it. In reality I'm scared to say it. In a movie, my words would be complimented by a swelling score and perfect lighting. Words that will probably invoke heartache and broken dreams would instead be returned and a fade out to happily ever after would await me. I'm not sure what will happen, but I'm guessing nothing out of a typical romantic comedy.

What I do know is that I have been living in a world of "reality" for far too long. I have taken the easy way out, living life sitting in the audience. I am terrifed what being an active participant in my own story will bring. I might have to do some serious acting first; but maybe life in the big picture will turn out to be pretty real afterall.